F.Y.I. I don't do New Year's resolutions. It's just another rule for me to break. For me there are ENOUGH rules on this planet. I'm not saying rules are bad, I'm just saying I don't need another one. Happy, happy 2018.
I never do a New Year's resolution. Having a personal expectation to live up to is a recipe for failure . . . for me. Instead I really try to do my best when I can. I try to always get my shit done. I try to be a good person. I try not to get to mad or irritated (this one never works). I just try my best. Seems good enough to me.
Donate something today. It doesn't matter where you do it or how. If you are reading this blog, I'm pretty confident you had a nice Christmas. So let's all give a little bit back today. Even if it's just buying someone a cup of coffee.
I had coffee with a few friends the other day. We had a great time. Hanging out with friends is one of the things in my life that 'fills my cup.' Yesterday I called a friend with a question about our rowing machine and he said you should call and see if Lora (his wife) wants to have dinner at your house. So I called up Lora and said, "Do you want to have dinner at my house?" She said, well, we are busy with this and that, but I want to. I said, "If you text between 5:00PM and 6:00PM and tell me you are standing on my porch, I will feed you." She said, "If that's the invite, I'll figure it out." At 5:35PM Harvey looked out the window and there was Lora! This is the stuff we should be adding to our life. The quick swing-by to a friends for dinner, the yes, let's grab a beer. A month or so ago a friend called and said, "Come meet me for a drink right now." I was in the middle of dinner, the kids were running everywhere. I got dinner to a good spot where it could easily be finished by someone else and I went and had a drink.
Since, I don't write very long posts (and I can't believe I have moved to a third paragraph) I'll get to the point. All I hear is how much people talk about being busy. And they say it in a frustrated, irritated way. It's time to unschedule, down-schedule, say "no" to stuff you don't want to do. Don't squeeze in stuff you don't need to do. Squeeze in time with your friends. Lora, rallying to dinner last night was squeezing in time with her friends. She was here for a little over an hour. We ate, we chatted, we tried on clothes, we sat on the floor in my bedroom with the kids playing in the next room, we laughed, her son grabbed a donut put it in a ziplock bag for his brother and they were on their merry way. This is the stuff we should NEVER be too busy for.
If you have 20 minutes and 38 seconds watch this video. It has been recommended to me by countless people over the years. Every time I watched I am empowered and impressed by Brene. So give yourself 20 minutes and 38 seconds to be empowered. XO
the New Year's resolution and just BE. Today is Tuesday, December 31, 2013, New Year's Eve, today is the last day of 2013, tomorrow is the first day of 2014. Today is the day billions of folks make New Year's resolutions to change their life for the better in the year to come. I say skip the resolution and just enjoy what you have. Here are a few fun things to read to let you just 'BE.'
Happy PEACEFUL New Years! XOXO These poems are from me to you. Please read on.
“If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy, can be our teacher.” ― Pema Chödrön
“Usually when we hear or read something new, we just compare it to our own ideas. If it is the same, we accept it and say that it is correct. If it is not, we say it is incorrect. In either case, we learn nothing.” ― Thích Nhất Hạnh, The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberation
There are millions of years in the past There are millions of years ahead of us And here we are Right in the middle
Then there's space There are miles and miles of space in all directions And here we are Right in the middle
This is a big deal Being in the middle of time and space It sort of makes your eyes water
We'd never find this moment again In a million years This is our world Let's not blow it
“Rise to the challenges that life presents you. You can't develop genuine character and ability by sidestepping adversity and struggle.” ― Daisaku Ikeda
“Reality is harsh. It can be cruel and ugly. Yet no matter how much we grieve over our environment and circumstances nothing will change. What is important is not to be defeated, to forge ahead bravely. If we do this, a path will open before us.” ― Daisaku Ikeda
And lastly, this is a nice poem given to me by an old friend 20 years ago! It's called The Invitation by Oriah. It just a good one, read on!
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 'Yes.'
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
Do you ever sit back and realize how lucky you are? We were getting into bed the other night. It was cold and rainy out. David had his standard evening snack (popcorn and a beer) and I was all snuggled up under the covers. We were going to watch Grown Ups 2 . . . I know, I know a very wild evening! Anyway, I kinda had the chills and was so happy to be snuggled under two down comforters and wrapped in soft cozy pajamas. I was exhausted. I was up early that morning to workout (the usual 4AM), then I took one kid to the grocery store with me to get supplies to make 60 cupcakes for a soccer party. Then David left for two tennis matches while I was with the kiddos and making cupcakes. And you may already know this, but baking or cooking and taking care of a 2,3 and 4 year old is a BIG BALANCING act. And 'aunt flo' was about to come to town, so my body was cooked that night.
Back to being snuggled in my bed . . . seriously it was blissful, I was so cozy! And then I said to David, do you realize how lucky we are? He who has MS and works his a$$ off to provide for us was like, yes!!! And, I said all the crazy weather (hurricanes and typhoons) that have displaced and even killed so many people. And he of course with his usual brilliant words, said Kysa there are A LOT of people suffering out there, homeless people, abuse victims, people who have suffered a loss, people with illness (health or mental), etc, etc.
Yesterday I got some news that I was NOT at all excited about. And I kinda hunkered down in my little sad world. I kinda got pissed at the kids during dinner (and also because I cooked dinner for 5 hours and it was horrible). I cried to David, I cancelled an appointment I had last night. I said to David I am going to get in my box, think about my situation and pretend this is the only problem on the planet because I have the right to do that. He said go for it! So I kissed him goodnight went up stairs, took one PM Midol, put on my pajamas and hopped into bed to just be by myself and relax. This morning I am still a little bummed, but I know how lucky I am. Sorry ladies, but I have the greatest husband in the world! I have four awesome kids, a cute dog, great house, sweet friends, etc etc. When times get a little rocky, go ahead and sulk, but look for the sunshine and be thankful too!