I wrote about this in my book. It is personally my greatest communication tool. The pause. I use it on TV, I use it with my children (they get nervous), I use it when someone offends me, I use it all the time. Before I say anything that has any emotion attached to it and I know I need to use my words wisely . . . I pause. Not a long pause, just a few seconds to gather my thoughts, get calm, give my listener a seconds to gather their thoughts. We don't get a lot of air time these days, when you are in a heated conversation or a sad one, allow a little silence to fill the air before you speak.