complete shock

It's no secret that I push, strive and bend over backwards to give my kids independence.  But, two weeks ago I noticed something.  I do a lot for one of my kids.  Yep, just one.  I grab the butter knife and spread his butter for him.  I grab something up high, if he (yes, it's a he) if he can't get it.  I poor him a glass of milk on demand.  Do I do this for any of my other kids (besides the twins) not regularly!  David does it too.  Yes, we both cater to this kid.  And I have full-proof in my house that doing to much for kids is terrible.  Yes, Me, the women who wrote a book (SAY IT ONCE The No Bullshit Guide to Parenting) about teaching children to care for them self just realized her and her husband do EVERYTHING for one of our kids.  It's Teddy. I don't know how it happened.  Obviously Ian can take care of himself.  Murphy and Harvey are dialed.  But Teddy, we help him out with a lot.  Was it because I got into a habit after my mom dying of doing everything for him?  Or because he was my first born and I just did it that way?  Was it because Murphy was a fussy baby and it was easier to take care of Teddy?  I have no idea what the reason is, but there is a MASSIVE shift in our home right now.  99% of Teddy's requests (Can you get me a glass of milk? What should I wear today? What book should I read?) are now answered with, "No, you can do it."  Or, "I don't know, what do you think?"  In the five days since we have been woken up, it has been amazing to watch Teddy shift.  I am not kidding you, he seems a happier, he is standing a little taller, he knows he can tackle these little tasks in his life.  So today, sit back every so often and watch your child or listen.  What can you stop doing for them?  How can you get them to 'stand a little taller'?  Smile a little bigger?  And be a little prouder?  We won't be hear for ever to manage their every need.

XO